Me, Myself and Money
sesalifeI have some funny ideas about myself. Ideas around what I do and don’t do, what I like and don’t like or wouldn’t like. I have ideas about who I think I am and what that means for my life, my future, my relationships and the dreams and goals I have. If this idea of myself was constructive and aligned with the ambitions I hold we wouldn’t have a problem. However, I know you can see it coming, I am not aligned. How do I know I am not aligned? Well I shall tell you. Years of ‘doing the work’ which basically means praying, meditating, writing a journal, reading self-help books, doing self-development exercises and on and on I have learnt quite a bit about this chick, Elvina.
My lack of alignment presents itself as:
- Depression
- Comfort eating of sugars, fats and carbs (why are they so good????)
- Fatigue
- Mood swings
- Short tempered
- Troubled sleep
Funnily enough (in that way that is not actually funny at all) some ‘self-medicating’ leads to or exacerbates the others. The after effects of the comfort eating and yes the odd glass of medicinal wine would actually lead to feeling low, lethargic, moody and generally bloated and sick. So while not living your optimal life may not make you ill, the impact of living a half-life on your mental health can lead to behaviors that affect your physical health. We will talk about this at another point.
Today I want to talk about addressing shifting our self-perception and stepping into the life we want, or really need, to be living.
I’ll start with this video I made when recently in Ghana. In essence, I made a promise to myself to step out of my comfort zone and do what the Elvina in my mind would do. I travel a lot and on this occasion I made myself buy a premium economy ticket. One small step for Elvina of today one giant step towards Elvina of the future.
This experience made me address my money mindset and beyond that the value I put on myself and self-worth. Like so many others money and me have a funny old relationship and this poist was inspired by a session I was having with my coach on this very subject. To help us understand how I view money I had to write a letter to money. I am sharing it with you below. My coach, Yvette Ankrah, had me breakdown my relationship with money which enabled me to see the financial patterns I have been living in and look at how to change these patterns and live a more financially comfortable and prosperous life. Here is my letter…
Dear Money,
We have had a tumultuous relationship. You trying to get close and me running away. You showing me ways to have you come, stay and grow in my life and me letting fear of what this would mean or who I would become to push you away.
If I’m honest there was also issues as to whether I deserved to have you, I never felt I did.
But that’s changing. Those old feelings are still there but I realize that I need you and want you in my life. Not just for what you can do for me and my happiness but what we can do for others, together.
What I’m saying is I’m ready. I want to be all in with you, fully committed to us. Because I know, I’ve always known we could have and would have a beautiful life together if only I let us. As I say I’m ready, so what do you need me to do?
Lots of love
Elvina
Why don’t you try writing a letter like I did especially if money is an area you want to improve upon in your life. I really enjoyed this online session with Marisa Peer called ‘Fix your money mindset’ which i had listened to before writing the letter and found it really helped. I encourage you to have a listen and see what you get out of it.
For me, unsurprisingly, I went back to my childhood and experiences when I was 12 and again when I was 14. They showed me two points in time that I have technically been re-living and responding too over and over up to present day. I am actively recognizing them and working on responding and living differently.
What have been some of the ways you have improved your relationship with money? Do you have any tips to help others like me, shift towards a more financially healthy life? Please share!
